===

As if being awakened from a dream, her awareness gradually returned. As the haze lifted away from her eyes, her senses tore away at her without mercy.

She lay on her bed, eyes wide open at the dark and empty ceiling. The only illumination in her room was a dull silver light, refracted through the translucent curtains from the window. As her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, she started to see shapes born from the various shadows cast through the ghostly curtains.

There is nothing there. There is nothing there. There is nothing there. 

She knew there was nothing besides mere shadows cast from the moonlight on the ceiling. And that was what she kept telling herself.

There is nothing there. There is nothing there. There is nothing there. 

But she did not believe her own words. Glares from invisible eyes pierced through from the darkness. She felt like she was being watched from everywhere, even within a locked room in perfect solitude. Unable to bear her sight any longer, she shut her eyelids tightly. Yet perfect darkness was not what awaited her. Incomprehensible shapes and colours flashed from within her eyelids. A mottled flurry of noise continued to flicker in her vision. This was when she realized her ears were ringing.

The silence was deafening. A constant hum at a single pitch and tone played endlessly within her eardrums. And it seemed to progressively get louder, threatening to overwhelm her mind.

Her gasp for air broke through the silence. While taking long and hard breaths to drown out the silence, she felt more and more unsettled.

As if something was there.

As if the sounds of her breathing wasn’t hers.

Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away.

Her breathing became more rapid, as if in response to her irrational feelings. A wave of nausea washed over her and she responded by clasping her hands over her mouth. She could feel her hot breath washing over her fingers in an erratic rhythm. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably.

She opened her eyes again. Her dimly lit room flashed back into existence. It was the very same room she had slept in for years. Everything was placed where it belonged. But yet it all felt so unfamiliar.

Her breathing became faster and more erratic. Her throat convulsed hard enough to bring tears into her eyes. She could not calm her breathing and started to choke.

The sounds of coughing echoed throughout the room. She struggled to bring her breathing back under control. The flowing tears began to sting her eyes.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. 

Her tears blurred her vision, causing everything to look even more alien to her than it did before. Despite her pleas to herself, she could not calm down. In an act of desperation, she bit down onto her hand.

Her hand tensed up as pain struck like lightning. She could feel the taste of copper dancing on the tip of her tongue. The pain provided little relief to the overwhelming anxiety that was flooding her. She knew she could not hold on any longer.

And so she reached out for her salvation, a bottle of pills sitting at the corner of her bedside table. Her shaking hands struggled to unscrew the cap. She could barely maintain her grip on the bottle and her tear stained vision served only to hinder her attempts at getting it open.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

At last the cap came off, falling from her hands and filling her ears with a diminishing beat as it bounced several times off the floor before rolling to a stop. And her hopes for salvation died with it.

She stared eyes wide open into the empty bottle. As feelings of dread and despair emerged, her knees buckled and she collapsed in resignation. She had already known it was empty.

It felt like she was sinking through the ground as she hugged her legs tightly. She lay paralyzed on the cold hard floor until the cocktail of anxiety, unease and dread became unbearable and caused her to scream.

—

Like a fish out of water, she gasped for air. Her eyes had snapped wide open and reality had once again fell back into place around her. A gentle amber shade of light lit up a different room. She began to breathe in a constant rhythm.

It was a ghost from the past, refusing to let her go. It served as a grim reminder of a personal hell she was once trapped within. The days where she fought herself in that cold and dark room. The gates to that hell were still open, threatening to swallow her up in a moment of weakness. A moment that she decided that she will never allow herself to have.

She lay for a while longer, placing an arm over her forehead. After allowing a single tear to drip down her face, she got up and braced herself for a brand new day.

Eri makes a comeback in her bunny gear again. Wonder if I’ll draw her usual maid form again. Messed up her legs. But hey, at least I’m drawing stuff!

There had to be a mistake. It all didn’t add up. All his actions up till now, all the time he dealt with those numbers. Those god-damned numbers. The friends he could have made, the social life he could have had, all the time he could have spent sleeping 3 more hours per day had accumulated to a mere 77% scribbled in red ink.

Thus the boy started to think. Just how had he spent his time up till now? Why was the 77% so upsetting?

He began to relive the blur known as his daily routine. Everyday, rush back home. Finish homework as fast as possible. Read textbooks. Do revision exercises. Nothing else mattered, nobody else mattered. Just work, work, work and more work.

Then pause. He began to reason things out. 77% is a decent mark all things considered. He probably ranked in the upper half of his class, possibly the upper quarter. Plus he highest he had ever scored in middle school was 68%. Most students with that mark would go home and probably be told something like “It’s okay but you can do better.” No allowances will be increased or decreased, nobody will be particularly be that upset over anything and life will go on as usual.

Pause again.

That won’t happen for him. He began to think of that middle aged guy who comes home late at night, eats a cold dinner by himself while reading the newspapers. That noisy person. Noisy, noisy noisy, noisy, noisy. Ear blisteringly noisy. Every time he opened his mouth, an endless ear blistering spiel that sounded like a mix of fingernails and chalkboard in a blender. Ah that’s right. Dad.

It was always something about that excellent somebody. That person that just happened to have been born from the same womb earlier than he. That person and his pesky marks in the 90s. That person who happens to be in some other country pursuing some academically superior lifestyle. Now what was that term again? Oh right, a brother.

The endless comparisons. Day after day, at best an hour. At worst the whole evening. The only solace was when he comes home after he had fallen asleep.

That was why he slaved away when high school started. He had enough. He had to make him shut up somehow. And he had succeeded, showing that old man just how hard working he could be. A semester of relative silence. But at what cost?

Drowning in text and numbers every night. Getting his mind washed over with torrents of information, all with questionable long term importance. Alienating most people in his class. Missing out all those pleasures in life. Setting aside a love life, his social life is now shambles.

On top of all that, the silence will no longer be there. That old fart will open his mouth again. His eardrums will begin to undergo various stress tests again. First something about results being all that matter. Then there will be something about his older sibling, or somebody’s kid that he never knew. Then it will progress to not being a fitting son to a hospital director. His worth as a human being will come into question. Then it will repeat all over again.

So this was the result. All that time he spent, all those suppressed desires and all that mental stress and sleep deprivation he put himself through. And it will still be noisy. That old man will open his mouth again. All that comes out will be noise, noise, noise and more noise. In fact, he found it pretty noisy right about now.

Reality came knocking again. The papers on his desk, glaringly white with sunlight from the window. That 77% scrawled in red ink at the top right corner. Now all that classroom chatter was beginning to sound like a certain old man. Something about marks being compared. Comparisons, comparisons, comparisons, comparisons, comparisons. His head began to throb. His ears began to ring. Then it all went away with a single thought.

“Nothing matters any more.”

And with that, he got up while gripping the two legs of his desk and flung it straight through the window.

=====

My attempt at starting some teen drama romance story thing I had in my head for a while.

Female protagonist design. The story is about the male.

Thinking of pulling this off without ever mentioning anybody’s name. It will all be about ‘Him’ and ‘Her’. Might end up clusterfuck confusing though. I’ll see what happens.

Tried redesigning Seraph Star with Precure as a reference. Not fond of the result. Probably because the new dress doesn’t fit the old gloves and boots. Tried messing with the gun. Back to the drawing board either way.

===

OMAKE

===

More Scissor Girl. Drew her cross legged, then she needed to sit on something and I came up with the bizarro chess thing.

Samurai Princess redesign. Did this a while ago actually.

Until that fated day. The destined meeting with the spirit beast Orion. To fend off the attack by the Dark Stars, she made a contract with Orion to become the Star Warrior of Justice. Magical Twilight ~ Seraph Star ~

Tasked with defeating the Dark Stars, vile creatures who feed off the negative emotions of human beings and to purify them into Twinkle Stars using the power of her star magic. The power of the Twinkle Stars are then used to seal Negative Gates from which the Dark Stars emerge from.

His first memory was being in a laboratory. Experimental Cybernetic Soldier 0 or ECS-0 was his name. Under their orders, he would eliminate targets one after another. There was nothing to it, just follow orders. It was his only purpose in life.

Until that fated day. The man he had murdered. The cries of his wife and daughter shook up something within him. It was wrong. His life, all he had been doing, all his orders. All wrong. As if he had awoken from a long slumber, he had grasped something called free will.

His sins were heavy but that did not deter him from his duty. His path was decided, the harsh road to redemption. To defeat the Evil Organization Zapper, the very organization that created him and continue to manipulate the world from the shadows. Whatever his life was before they made him what he was, or whether he was merely built from scratch mattered not.

Defeating Zapper now was his destiny. His destiny as a Warrior of Justice.

His destiny as -
Exceed Metal Ride Ranger.

===

It all began with a misunderstanding.

The girl about to finish off the Dark Star.

The man who thought a monster was about to finish off some crazy cosplayer and her toys.

Ride Ranger had annihilated the Dark Star with a Breaker Kick.

Seraph Star was left without a Twinkle Star to seal the Negative Gate.

This is their story. A story of magic, justice, sparkles, spirit and everything else in between.

This is –

Exceed Star ~ Ride On!! Twilight! ~

—————————————————————————

Exceed Star ~ Ride On!! Twilight! ~ is a new story idea of mine involving a crossover between a magical girl(Sailormoon, CCS, etc) and a tokusatsu hero(Kamen Rider, Super Sentai). Meant to be filled with parodies left right center.

Seraph Star is a more contemporary take on the magical girl genre somewhat, but still utilizing the usual tropes. She is a young girl contracted by a cute mascot character to fight evil. But she wields a magical revolver rifle with an underslung magical grenade launcher and has a more crazy flight shoot assault sorta attacks akin the Nanoha series. So I guess conceptually she’s as traditional as Sailor Moon but in terms of presentation and her attacks, she’s more like Nanoha.

Her weapon is the Gemini. Composed up of a magical revolver rifle called Castor and the single shot grenade launcher Pollux. They fire a special magic crystal ammunition supplied by the Spirit Beast Orion. Orion is a creature from the Positive World, essentially a parallel world that has formed from the positive emotions of people. The Dark Stars conversely come from the Negative world. Due to the current nature of the world, there has been more negative emotions causing an unbalance to occur and the Dark Stars to emerge to wreak havoc. Orion and Seraph Star aim to maintain this balance and reduce the negativity of the world. To transform, she uses the Star Belt.

Her costume design has a star motif throughout. And also 3 pairs of wings, thus the Seraph in her name. I decided to place the wings in less conventional places, upper arm, thighs and behind her waist. Hard to see in the picture, she wears spurs on her wrists and heels, hence the cowboy boots. She’ll have some melee attacks using them where the stars grow into giant energy stars. Her heel drop kick will be called something like Meteor Fall. Or maybe I’ll name it Hale Bopp instead.

Ride Ranger is modeled mostly after Kamen Rider. His story is largely the same as the first Kamen Rider, a human who was abducted by an evil organization called Shocker and turned into the cyborg Hopper. After a hit job, he awakens from his brainwashing and realizes what has happened and decides to fight against Shocker as Kamen Rider. Ride Ranger is a cybernetic soldier created by the evil organization Zapper to do their dirty work, and after a certain hit job he gains a free will and decides to fight for justice.

Ride Ranger’s name itself is a parody of those sorta heroes. Ride from Kamen Rider. Ranger from the Super Sentai line. Like those heroes, he will utilize a series of special named moves. So far I have Blast Knuckle and Breaker Kick. And enemies he defeats with those moves will be completely annihilated in a mysterious explosion.

For the suit design, I have referred to a bicycle helmet and those extreme sports flak jackets. His suit is quite armoured giving him a look more like the Metal Heroes or the newer Kamen Riders.

Like the heroes he was based off, he as a transformation sequence and utilizes a belt. The joke is though, when untransformed he is perpetually wearing his scarf and a plastic kid’s mask modeled after his helmet. And also the fact he never ever rides anything(Kamen Riders tend to ride bikes) into or in battle. Which makes his name a bit contradictory. Untransformed, he leads a normal life as a teacher in a middle school. Yes, Seraph Star’s middle school. And he’s her homeroom teacher. And goes by the name Jiro Yamada. Seraph Star is the only one who thinks he is Ride Ranger and nobody else seems to be able to make the connection, thinking his mask and scarf are perfectly normal. Thus playing out the thinly veiled disguises trope. Although the joke is that Seraph Star is the one with the weakest disguise as only her outfit is changed. Yet she’s the one poking at Ride Ranger’s disguise which would be perfect if not for his quirks and as long as he didn’t transform in front of people since post transformation he has a goddamn helmet on.

So the story starts essentially when Ride Ranger pursues Zapper’s operations to the town where Seraph Star works. Thinking one of the Dark Stars are Zapper’s new creation, he annihilates it with a Breaker Kick leaving Seraph Star lost for words. A Negative Gate remains open for more Dark Stars to emerge from. And then an untimely attack by Zapper’s minions shake things up!

After a rocky start, the two decide to join forces. Or rather make sure they don’t get in each other’s way. But of course the organization Zapper has their own plans regarding the Negative Gates and the Dark Stars and only with the combined powers of Ride Ranger and Seraph Star can justice prevail.

Seraph Star Design Sheet with Orion.

Hoshino Hikari. Untransformed.

Either way with their new album Today is a Beautiful Day, it is a good opportunity to rant about them on a whole as it contains all their major single songs along with a plethora of new songs. So wee.

Also I never reviewed music before so I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

1. Owari e Mukau Hajimari no Uta

Clocking in at 2:10, its more like one of those album ‘openers’ rather than a full fledged song. The piano and nagi’s voice blend together in a rather relaxing tune to just kick back to. Short and sweet, on a whole simply pleasant to listen to. Can’t comment on the lyrics since my Japanese-fu is low level and I haven’t found translations on it.

2. Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari

An old favourite, probably the first supercell exposure for most of the newer fans. Used as the ending theme for the anime Bakemonogatari. Its pretty upbeat and catchy. The mix of piano and guitar works real well for the instrumentals and the piano solo segment is awesome too.

The song tells a story of an untold and unrequited love, hence the song name, ‘the story you didn’t know’. Its a rather bittersweet song, telling of a strong love(sweet) and yet its untold thus bitter. The idea of a girl secretly in love with you is definitely an idea that tickles the fancy but like if she never tells you then you’ll never know and if you think about it that way, its pretty damn sad.

Didn’t really like the PV all that much. Bunch of puzzled looking Japanese teenagers faffing about with the lack of ability to form proper facial expressions. Real lovely.

3. Hero

Released before for free to listen on Sony Music’s website or something, as the theme to some manga magazine. Not too sure of the details really.

A love song. An awesome one. And this time it doesn’t end badly. About a boy meeting a girl and going for broke!

Basically a boy has long observed a girl from afar, secretly in love with her but afraid of approaching since he’s a gloomy dude which the other girls think is creepy. Oh she’s way too bright for me! But a glimmer of hope appears when she mentions when she likes the doodles he scribbles on his desk. Eventually he finds her crying alone, goes for broke and manages to cheer her up and we can more or less assume its smooth sailing from there on out. So basically be a Hero, go for the girl fuck yeah. Go look it up yourself. Its interesting how the lyrics shifts between the boy’s point of view and a third person but I get the feeling its the girl’s point of view in the end of it all. The love here is portrayed rather poetically in a good way.

Upbeat supercell love song at its finest. Nagi brings out the various emotions swirling around in the song out very well. Starts off gentle, picks up the beat as it goes along. This song is the infectious sort, just crawls into your mind with each listen and you find it on repeat eventually.

4. Perfect Day

A sweet and gentle song about chasing your dreams! Thats how I’m interpreting it anyway. You might feel small at the scope of it all, but you should keep going for it!

The lyrics and tune are pretty melancholic. Slower than the likes of Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari and Hero, but works pretty well in the end. The lyrics progress from being about reminiscing about the past and about how the ‘singer’ feels overwhelmed at how far away but eventually since well, its a Perfect Day…. just keep going for it and you’ll succeed! Or something like that.

While not as upbeat or catchy, its a very relaxing song to listen to. And I guess what Japanese people call ‘healing’. Or iyashikei. Lyrics are quite encouraging on a whole.

The PV for this song is nice. An animated feature. Matches the lyrics as well. Tells a sorta similar story, depicting a rather crestfallen looking girl probably crumbling under the pressure of dream chasing and reminiscing about the past. Thrown into it is her best friend which she seemed to have fallen on bad terms with. All up for interpretation, she left her hometown leaving her best friend behind and it could be for a variety of reasons. But in the end they meet again and we see her running off chasing clouds again so yup, its all cool in the end. Makes me wish they made a short series based on it or something, the characters are attractive enough and like, the best friend character plays a goddamn saxophone. A motherfucking goddamn sax. I had enough of that K-On band nonsense, give me a saxophone girl please.

5. Fukushuu

Revenge. Haven’t found any translations so I won’t have too much to comment about I suppose.

Its one of supercell’s more…. ‘different’ songs so to speak. Like Oshiete Ageru or Worldwide Love I suppose. Its not bad, and I find it stuck in my head a number of times so it certainly qualifies for catchy.

Considering the song’s title and the general tune of the music, its thematically darker than the usual supercell’s fare of love song. More heavy on the rock side, maybe even a bit metal-ish. The song is very tense overall, starts off sorta alluring then the tension builds up. Moody and broody.

Wouldn’t call it one of my favourites since well, I’m a supercell fan because of the love songs but it isn’t a bad addition of an alternate variety. I’d probably like it more once I find a translation or something.

6. Rock ‘n Roll nan desu no

If I had one word to describe this song… it would be cute. In the Oshiete Ageru sense. Upbeat and playful. Its overall a fun song. Cause its Rock ‘n Roll.

7. LOVE & ROLL

Ah, Cencoroll feels like such a distant memory now. Where is my bloody sequel?

I read the lyrics translation at some point but I don’t quite remember what they were and am too lazy to look it up again. But the general gist was definitely a girl trying to get a guy’s attention in a club or something along the lines of that.

And the music fits that perfectly. Nagi sings a whispy alluring sorta way which works very well. Kinda a bit techno-trancey, very electronic instrumentals. At the same time its also pretty relaxing in a sense. Definitely addictive.

8. Feel so good

Whatever the song is about, it definitely sounds classy. Probably the rather jazzy take on the tune. It definitely makes me feel good in a relaxing sense, like I’m chilling in a bar sipping wine or something. Thats the image I’m getting anyway.

Personally I think nagi’s voice isn’t the best fit for these sorta songs but it works well enough. It could work with a bit more sultry in it. Probably my 2nd favourite of the new songs, next to Perfect Day.

9. Hoshi ga Matataku Konna Yoru ni

I still remember when someone uploaded the radio rip onto nico nico douga before the single was released. And when the song got to the chorus and nagi sang out “HOSHI GA~~~ MATATAKU KONNA YORUUUU NIII~~” and multi coloured stars flashed past the screen(nico nico douga has this thing with their videos where you can comment on the vid based on its time, and your comments will scroll past at that moment when other people watch it if they turn the comments on). That was epic enough to make me teary eyed. Makes me believe in the magic that is here tonight.

The ending theme to the visual novel Mahoutsukaii no Yoru which has yet to be released because Type Moon is too busy swimming in Fate franchise money. Or something.

A pure song about a growing love and about a certain special moment under a starlit sky. Hence the song title. The stars are sparkling on a night like this. Or something like that, I’m not too sure!

Lovely, upbeat and extremely catchy.

10. Utakata Hanabi

Used as the ending theme as one of Naruto’s many goddamn themes judging from how bloody long it is and still going. I think it was the 14th, not that I watch it so I’m not sure and don’t really care. Either way I’m not judging the song based on what it was used for.

Definitely one of supercell’s sadder songs. About a lost love, nostalgia over beautiful moments past and a feeling of longing that will never be fulfilled. Its probably appropriate to assume the ‘singer’s’ lover is deceased. Its still a beautiful song even if its on the depressing side. Even though you lost your loved one, your love still burns strongly long after. Its definitely a beautiful idea, even if melancholic. But then its the bittersweet stuff that are the most beautiful. Like you are more likely to get touched by a romantic movie when the dash of tragedy gets tossed in for a climax as opposed to a comedic approach.

I do admit the song didn’t quite catch on me at first, but like a virus it spread and eventually I got hooked. It is the type of song that just sorta grows on you.

11. Yoru ga Akeru yo

This song is meant to put you to sleep. So I would say from the lyrics. One sheep two sheep threee sheeeeeep~~

Until I find translations, I am gonna deduce this song is about counting sheep before you go to sleep.

Very gentle and slow song of the relaxing variety. Perfect fit for that playlist which I listen to while napping.

12. Sayonara Memories

Ah the pure feelings of a maiden’s love that she can’t seem to confess. Which is what the song is about. Its graduation time and its the last chance for a girl to tell a guy she loves him. Goes through all the moments they had together, how she did cute things like purposely lie about a shortcut while walking back home together just so she could be with him longer. And about how her love made her happy but was painful to cope with. Bittersweet. We love that stuff don’t we? That explains chocolates. And coffee.

My favourite supercell song. And it contains violin. I love my violin. Catchy like hell and nagi’s voice tugs on your heartstrings on those key moments. Especially the ‘wakanai-yo’ moment at 4:44. Although that whole verse was strumming on your heartstrings.

But unlike Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari, the song ends with the confession itself. So we can more or less assume happy end for this story.

Now listen to it. Listen to a it a hundred times! In a row! Thats basically what happened with me. Still feels magical even after all those listens.

The PV is definitely interesting. The girl sitting at home at night after graduation, lamenting at her undelivered love letter. Then like another version of her appears, takes her love letter and runs off with it and she goes chasing after. And her alternate self is portrayed as a light projection on passing buildings. Didn’t like the weirdo lipsync bits though, it isn’t nagi in the video but a young actor by the name of… Ema Sakura was it? The whole false quasi-band bits felt weird because it isn’t actually the band. Or is it? Ryo could have been hiding amongst the instrumentalists for all I know.

13. Watashi He

Another mini song like the first track. Basically a piano only + vocal version of Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari, a sequel to the song. Continuing the untold unrequited love thing. And some sorta acceptance of it since ‘it is my story’.

—

That concludes rant about album. On a whole I can’t say I wasn’t a bit disappointed in the album in terms of the new song loadout. The songs were good, but only Perfect Day I would call awesome. And two of them were these short two minute things, one of them being well.. sequel with the same tune as an existing song. Although its definitely interesting to see them foray into different sorts of stuff, Fukushuu and Feel so Good being quite different from the usual fare.

Okay time to stop ranting.